What are the best types of therapy for insecurity in relationships?

Relationship insecurity often develops as a survival strategy after betrayal or hurt in the past. Our need for secure connections in life is biologically wired. When we feel threatened, insecurity can naturally come up.

Common signs of feeling insecure in a relationship might look like:

• You fear abandonment
• You're constantly afraid of a breakup
• You doubt your partner's feelings, even if they show you they're committed
• You find it difficult to trust, especially if you've been betrayed in the past
• You have a constant need for validation
• You want reassurance regularly

Insecurity generally doesn't come out of nowhere. Recognizing where it starts isn't about placing blame; it's about finding compassion for your own needs. Once you understand why you feel emotionally unsafe in relationships, you can take the first steps toward healing.

Common root causes of insecurity may include:

• Attachment wounds in childhood: Attachment theory research suggests that if you were raised with emotionally unavailable or inconsistent caregivers, you're more likely to struggle with trust in adult relationships.
• Painful past relationships: If you've been hurt in a past relationship by being betrayed, cheated on, or emotionally neglected, it can leave a lasting imprint that comes up in future relationships.
• Low self-esteem or mental health struggles: Anxiety and depression can magnify doubts about your relationships. They can fuel overthinking and self-sabotage.

A key benefit of therapy is that it's a safe, non-judgmental space. With the guidance of a therapist, you can look at your past and current experiences and learn new and healthy habits that instill a sense of security in your relationships.

During therapy for insecurity in relationships, you will likely:

• Explore your core emotional patterns
• Look at your attachment styles
• Reframe distorted thoughts like "They will leave me" or "No one can love me"
• Practice emotional regulation skills
• Learn how to trust yourself
• Set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty
• Understand differentiation (where you end and your partner begins)
• Integrate meditation techniques to calm anxiety

Several therapy approaches can help heal relationship insecurity. It's important to remember that there isn't a roadmap for therapy. It's not a quick fix for insecurity issues. You should also understand that it might take more than one type of therapy or trying different therapists before you find what works best.

Types of therapy that support relational healing:

• Attachment-based therapy: Explores early bonds to see how they shape current relationships and helps you rebuild a sense of secure attachment.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): Helps you spot and change anxious thoughts with more balanced ones.
• Emotion-focused therapy (EFT): Widely used for couples therapy, EFT helps you recognize unhealthy emotional cycles that are driving either conflict or insecurity (or both) in your relationships.
• Mindfulness-based therapy: Encourages you to become aware of your emotional triggers without reacting. Mindfulness practices like meditation can reduce stress and help you respond to conflict in healthier ways.
• Individual vs. group therapy: One-on-one sessions allow for deep, personal exploration, while group therapy helps you recognize you're not alone and practice skills with others.

Healing won't happen overnight, but over time, therapy can create a profound shift in your relationships. Progress can look like:

• You're more comfortable being alone
• You don't panic when you don't hear from your partner
• You're less jealous
• You start communicating more clearly and calmly
• You stop spiraling or making assumptions during conflict
• You have a sense of clarity about your values, identity, and own self-worth
• You feel more capable of navigating change in your relationship without fear

Becoming more secure doesn't mean you'll never feel anxious again. It means you have effective skills and tools to manage your feelings without letting them take over and interfere with your relationships.

If you're considering therapy for your insecurity issues, the following steps can make the process more approachable.

• Learn how to find a therapist who understands attachment trauma and has relationship expertise.
• Remember that you don't have to be in a relationship to benefit from healing. If you know you have issues with insecurity, you can start working on them, so your next relationship is stronger and healthier.
• Think about what emotional safety means to you and tell your therapist so you can work toward a common goal.
• Prioritize finding the right fit. You should feel safe, supported, and able to trust your therapist.

You may also take a break from therapy if you need space to process what you've learned. Breaks can be part of growth, especially when combined with ongoing practices like journaling or meditation techniques.

Feeling secure in your relationship starts from within. Therapy can help you build emotional safety from the inside out. You'll eventually learn how to be in a healthy relationship where you're confident and secure.

Headspace makes support easy to find. We offer therapy for insecurity in relationships from experienced therapists, along with in-app tools for additional support, so you can experience the kind of love that feels like home. Learn more about online therapy from Headspace and how we can help you become secure in your relationships.

_Sources:

_{1. Yılmaz, C. D., Lajunen, T., & Sullman, M. J. M. (2023). Trust in relationships: a preliminary investigation of the influence of parental divorce, breakup experiences, adult attachment style, and close relationship beliefs on dyadic trust. Frontiers in Psychology, 14. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1260480. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1260480/full. Accessed August 19, 2025.}