How to make friends as an adult

Knowing how to make friends as an adult can be challenging. If you're looking to make a new friend in your workout class or establish adult friendships in a new neighborhood, this article is here to help.

Making friends as a kid often came naturally, passing notes in class or bonding on the playground. But as an adult, especially after relocating or entering a new life phase, building a social circle can feel daunting. Whether you're settling into a new city or navigating a fresh chapter, the process can stir up social anxiety, hesitation, or even loneliness. While old friendships can offer comfort, it's the new connections you create that help you grow and feel grounded in your present life.

No matter how you’ve come to be in a friendship drought in adulthood, you are not alone. Though it may not seem very fun right now, making new friends is just a fact of life.

How friendships shape your health and well-being

Forming friendships is not only one of the most important pieces to settling into a new place, but also to living a long, happy life. According to a study on social relationships and mortality, friendships are key to longevity; adults have a 50 percent increased likelihood of survival when they have strong relationships.

Having a weak support system or too few friends equates to the same risk factor as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or drinking excessive alcohol. Surrounding yourself with friends isn’t just a component of living longer, but also of living a more fulfilled life. In his book “The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It,” David Niven, Ph.D., cites a study in which researchers found that the number of friends you have and the closeness shared between these friendships are two of the five factors that account for 70 percent of your personal happiness. Living without a solid social network shouldn’t be an option.

Why making friends as an adult is challenging

Forming adult friendships often feels harder than it should, and that’s largely because the social landscape changes with age. As people leave behind school, college, or early career settings, places rich with shared interests and casual interaction, access to the built-in environments is lost.. Instead, adults are often surrounded by coworkers or acquaintances with limited crossover into their personal lives. Add in packed schedules, parenting duties, or moves to a new city, and it’s easy to see why so many adults struggle to find space for social connection.

Beyond logistical barriers, there are emotional ones too. Many adults worry about being seen as needy or intrusive when trying to connect with a new person. There’s also the quiet assumption that everyone else already has a friend group, which can create hesitation, even loneliness. These invisible walls often stop people from reaching out, even when they crave meaningful friendships. But recognizing these roadblocks is empowering: it reframes the challenge not as a personal failure, but as a common experience shaped by modern life.

How to make friends as an adult

Here are five rules to help you get started:

1. Make space in your head and your heart

Sometimes, the biggest hurdle is finding the emotional and mental capacity to make new friends. It takes effort and commitment, not to mention vulnerability, to build a strong friendship. Try to let go of where you were and accept where you are. Allow yourself to be open to new experiences and new people.

Finding Connection in a Socially Distant World

2. Look for interests, not individuals

Identify what you like to do, read, eat, see, and discuss before pursuing a new friendship. Those interests, hobbies, and passions are where you are likely to be the most comfortable. Rather than looking for a specific person to befriend, look for social clubs or classes to join, like a book club or a cycling studio. These are great opportunities to meet potential friends while also participating in activities you love.

3. Be consistent

Your childhood days were often filled with activities where you saw the same people regularly, making it easier to build relationships. Try to mimic the patterns of our childhood friendships by meeting regularly. Schedule coffee dates. Sign up for a volunteer shift. Take a class. Get it on the calendar and stick to it. If you want to form a meaningful connection and build a strong friendship, you must nurture the relationship and support one another.

4. Hedge your bets

The saying “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” holds true when making friends. It can be better to spread your time across a few friendships than to pin all efforts (and hopes) on one. In the long run, quality will reign over quantity, but in the beginning, it’s smarter to diversify. 

5. Say yes and mean it

Accept invitations and actually show up. A night out or a dinner party in a new city can lead to great discoveries—restaurants, music, hobbies, neighborhoods, and additional friendships. Finally, remember our childhood friendships didn’t just happen. You were invited to birthday parties. You introduced yourself to the kid sitting next to you. You straight up asked (or were asked) to be friends. Effort was made, chances were taken. You checked yes back then. Find ways to check yes again.

While there are no secret tricks to making friends, there are proven strategies that can make the process feel more natural, meaningful, and rewarding. 

Rebuilding connection, one friendship at a time

Making friends as an adult isn’t always easy, but it’s absolutely possible. Whether you’re navigating a new city, reconnecting with an old friend, or taking a chance on a new person in your workout class or book club, each step toward connection builds confidence and momentum. There’s no perfect formula for creating a strong friendship, but consistency, openness, and shared experiences lay the groundwork for meaningful friendships that support overall happiness.

While it may take time and vulnerability, the effort is worth it. Every “yes” to an invitation, every moment of small talk that leads to a deeper exchange, brings you closer to a more fulfilling social life. So go ahead, take the first step, follow your shared interests, and give yourself permission to start again. Friendship isn’t just a bonus in adulthood; it’s essential.

Headspace offers mindfulness and well-being content for general wellness purposes. This article is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or medical condition. If you have health concerns or need clinical care, please speak with your physician or a qualified health care provider.

_Sources:

_{1. Holt‑Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta‑analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316. Accessed on July 28. 2025.}

_{2. U.S. Public Health Service. (2023). Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf. Accessed on January 12, 2026.}

_{3. Niven, D. (2000). The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It. HarperSanFrancisco. https://books.google.es/books/about/The_100_Simple_Secrets_of_Happy_People.html?id=f_iTJLNBPZAC&redir_esc=y. Accessed on July 28. 2025.}