Tackling goals—whether at work, at home, or in fitness—can be challenging. But if you take care of the mind, it can help you take care of everything else.
This is a great question and something that I’m sure many people have thought about and perhaps even feared. Needless to say, the process of meditation is different for us all, but I can say with some confidence that this is unlikely to continue for a long time.
Ultimately, it is not the present moment which defines how much we want to work or the sense of urgency we feel to complete it, but rather the intention we carry into each new moment. I’m not sure what kind of writing you are doing and why it is so heavily reliant on conflict and anxiety. I have to say that I’ve never felt either of these qualities are particularly useful in the process of writing. In fact, they both sound like very stressful qualities to try to maintain.
It may well be that what we’re talking about here is a fundamental shift in the way that you work, and, if so, this is quite normal and a very positive process. It might take a while to feel more confident in this new way of working, but it sounds like the process is well underway. Many people run on adrenaline and spend their entire lives dependent on these stressful impulses to produce work, perhaps believing that it is the best way—or the only way.
But meditation shows us that there is another way. By letting go of those old ways of working we are able to work with more flow, more speed, more productivity, more focus and just about every other quality we could possibly want for writing. It requires a slightly different approach and a new type of effort, driven by intention and discipline as opposed to cortisol and adrenaline. So do stay the course if you can. It will continue to change and in time I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised with the result.