How this woman learned to hear what her boyfriend wasn’t saying.
I wanted to share a story of my boyfriend, me and Headspace.
We are both what our friends would call “over-averagely active.” We’re the ones who talk the most and we’re always on the move. When I found him I was so relieved to find someone who talked as much as I did, someone who didn’t think that if you get 60 new ideas in 60 minutes, you basically need help. But the thing is that when we are together, just the two of us, we are able to really relax and take it easy. Before meeting him I always thought I needed someone very calm to calm me down. It doesn’t make much sense – but we have stopped trying to reason it – even though we’re both so active we calm each other down.
Almost a year ago we heard about Headspace through some friends and decided to give Take10 a try. This was the first time either of us had had anything to do with meditation whatsoever. I know that Headspace is often a very individual activity but from the moment we heard about it, it was something that was ours, something we could share. It was such a new thing for both of us and it was so nice to be able to reflect together on the very special and new thing we had stepped into. And I think the most significant sessions have been when we have been in the same room and been able to hear each other’s breathing. It is a bonding experience.
But then, half a year ago, I had to move abroad for work to a rural setting in a developing country with limited internet access. All we had was a let’s-see-how-it-goes attitude and a yearly subscription to Headspace. So there we were, thousands of miles apart and without much more than Headspace in our pocket to rely on. I probably don’t need to go deep into how distance is a real challenge for couples – but the mindful journey we have been on together with Headspace is just beautiful. Having Headspace has helped us a lot not only to maintain but even build our bond (over a distance).
It’s sometimes very difficult to meditate with a lot of daily stuff on our minds – even minor things can gang up and attack our concentration. But Headspace often shows me how well am I actually doing. After a Headspace session we reflect together. It has become a kind of gate for us to open up to each other. We sometimes end up demolishing each other’s daily concerns that we recognized through our Headspace reflections. Sometimes, after a truly uplifting session, I write to him about how it was for me – and when I hear back from him, I find out that it was just the same for him. This feeling melts the physical distance between us and I truly feel as though I’m sitting on my sunny porch with him smiling. I bet there are people who can do this just as well on their own, but for us Headspace is something that brings us close together despite the large distance between us.
We still have a few more months of long-distance to live through, but what we have built up so far with this amazing app has made us more calm, more relaxed and more in love than ever.
And of course thank you very much for making it possible to download sessions in advance; otherwise it would not be possible for me to Headspace at all.
The author of this post is an editorial contributor to Headspace. These are their views, experiences and results and theirs alone. This contributor was not paid for their writing.