I am grateful I get another day to make change, and learn.
I wake up, meditate, journal, and read the day's passage from The Book of Life.
Lack of presence. Thinking about that which I cannot control and being addicted to that mind flow.
Be open to coming back over and over. Practice makes better, it's not perfection, it's work.
AM, first thing, bedroom. Gym, anytime, evening, before bed. Nature, beach, mountains, etc.
Sometimes full and frenzied, sometimes calm with no focus.
Focused, intentional, active.
Relationships. Initially, it wasn’t what I was looking for, but it ended up being a favorite. It offered insight on dedication, as well as reflecting on when something passes. Some of the mindful tips say we are quick to acknowledge when anger rises, but do we notice when it passes? This pack emphasized not just dwelling on the commonly noted negatives.
Focus on the now, and actively realizing when I am acting in a reactionary manner.
A video of me eating it hard mid training. It’s the perfect example of believing you are totally aware of a situation, and in complete control, and 2 pounds of pressure in the wrong direction, and you fall backward. I was adjusting the weight differently than I normally do, and it was like someone blew on me, and I just fell. You have to be able to laugh at yourself, it makes life a lot easier if you can.
I’m between places, and a good friend is putting me up in their house. Wonderful people.
My dog, Malcolm. He’s a 4 ½-year-old pit bull, with a big old blockhead. Loves balls and sticks and playing fetch. I share custody with my ex. The next place I find will be a dog-friendly place, for sure.
When my grandmother passed. I had just turned 16, and I had been hospitalized for a blood born pneumonia, and at the time my grandma was going through metastasized breast cancer. She was in the hospital the same time I was, but we were unable to see each other. They didn’t tell me how serious my pneumonia was, but it looked like I could die. After a month in the hospital, it took me two weeks to walk again when I came home. I’d been home for a day or two when my mom told me my grandma had passed the night before in the hospital. I didn’t get an opportunity to say goodbye. I didn’t know she was doing poorly because they didn't want it to affect my health. I didn’t have the tools necessary to process that, even after going into therapy. There’s not much that can be done to say goodbye and to get that time back. It helped me realize the preciousness of the moment. I don’t have a lot of relationships I don’t care about. I don’t stay close with people unless I want them to be a part of my life. And as a result, the friends I have are family.
To be present and enjoy the small things. Life is often made up of the details. Enjoy them and laugh. Life is made for having fun. Do so.