Bouncing forward with resilience
Written by Phoebe Jenkins - Mental Health Coach at Headspace | Learn more
I used to think resilience just meant being a strong person. Then one day I received a phone call that made me rethink what I knew about resilience. I learned that my partner had been severely injured in an accident and spent the following several months bedridden. Suddenly, I was asking myself, “How do people get through tough times without giving up? What’s their secret?!” A year later he was in another accident. On top of that, we were struggling financially because of the first accident. I was juggling three jobs and caring for someone who was unable to help himself. At this point, my partner and I could have said, “Why us?” We could have felt down about our unlucky circumstances. Instead, we came out of this experience stronger — individually and as a couple. Why? The answer was resilience. The following strategies helped me then and continue to help me today.
First, what is resilience?
Resilience is an individual’s ability to bounce back from challenges, both big and small. It’s being adaptable in the face of hardships, such as relationship problems, health problems, and workplace or financial stressors. It involves bouncing back from difficult experiences, however I like to call it bouncing forward because the experience is often accompanied by profound personal growth. Keep reading for strategies to build resilience.
Use wisdom gained from past experiences
Many of us have gotten through hardships in the past. Make use of what got you through before. Maybe it was a song, a book, spiritual writings, quotes, or memories from your own experiences. For your resilience plan to be effective it needs to be personally meaningful and useful.
Move towards your goals
Even if life throws curveballs, you can still move towards your long-term goals. Staying connected to these goals and making forward progress can help boost your resilience and keep you rooted in your purpose, despite dealing with a tough time. To do this, clarify your long-term goals. Make some realistic short-term goals to get started. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in that direction?” Having a master list of these items may help you maintain focus on your purpose, regardless of what life throws at you.
Practice adaptability
Adaptability is flexibility and creativity, and resilient people are often flexible and creative in the face of stress. When we are adaptable, we are more likely to feel in control of our situation, which can help us feel more resilient. To build your adaptability, practice brainstorming new ideas, which can prepare you for coming up with solutions during a hardship. To do this, come up with lists of ideas — maybe 10 ideas for a book you want to write, a business you want to start, date nights, vacations, etc. The next time you’re faced with a situation that’s out of your control, say losing your job, you can write a list of things you do have control over, like updating your resume and building new job skills. This tool isn’t about coming up with good ideas, rather it’s about training your brain to generate multiple ideas, so avoid judging your ideas or censoring them.
Identify what’s in your control
The key to resilience is to focus on what’s in your control and let go of what isn’t. In my example, I couldn’t change my partner’s injury, however, I could still be active in dealing with the situation and my emotions about the situation. I could control the food he ate, the people we saw, how much self-care time I took, and his daily dedication to his rehabilitation exercises. By focusing on what was in our control, rather than complaining about what wasn’t in our control, we felt more resilient.
To do this yourself, make a list of what’s in your control and a list of what’s not. Letting go of these things can be important in feeling resilient. Next, look again at the things within your control and think of what action you can take to deal with those things.
"The key to resilience is to focus on what’s in your control and let go of what isn’t."
Create constants
Having routines or constants in our life during times of crisis can help us feel like things are still in our control. We can turn to routines like regular exercise, self-care, consistent meals, a daily meditation or a regular bedtime for purpose and stability. To start, pick one small self-care habit to start with. It may be helpful to write it out, and create a schedule for yourself. Some people also find it helpful to have a visual reminder such as a note, or a checklist, or to put out running shoes the night before to prepare for exercise in the morning.
Engage in movement
Regular movement reduces stress, improves mood, and improves sleep, providing energy for tackling challenges. Movement can also improve our concentration and planning which are important tools for dealing with difficult situations. If you’re just getting started, begin with something small and easy. This might mean just one push-up. Or a two-minute stretch. Or a 10-minute online exercise class. You’ll likely need to set aside time for yourself, schedule it, and stick to it. If possible, have an accountability buddy who can help you stay on track.
Work with a Headspace mental health coach
A mental health coach can offer a supportive environment to build strategies for greater resilience. Coaches empower you with practical tools and techniques, tailored specifically to your needs, so you can better face challenging times with confidence and positivity. Through regular text-based sessions, you’ll gain deeper insights into your behaviors and thoughts, learn effective coping mechanisms, and establish a strong personal roadmap to a more resilient life.
Whether you’re dealing with stress, personal loss, or workplace challenges, a Headspace mental health coach will help you create a toolkit to thrive in tough times. This collaborative journey fosters self-discovery, empowers you to focus on what you can control, and reinforces the importance of self-care, ultimately allowing you to bounce forward more effectively than ever before.
While these strategies are useful in the moment during a tough situation, they can also help you prepare for hardships in the future. Just like we have shock absorbers in our cars to make the experience on a bumpy road smooth, practicing these strategies now can make challenges easier to navigate later. These strategies aren’t meant to be tackled all at once if they’re new to you. Pick one or two to get started and reach out to a mental health coach if you need support.
Be kind to your mind
- Access the full library of 500+ meditations on everything from stress, to resilience, to compassion
- Put your mind to bed with sleep sounds, music, and wind-down exercises
- Make mindfulness a part of your daily routine with tension-releasing workouts, relaxing yoga, Focus music playlists, and more
Annual - billed at $69.99 USD/yr
14 days free
$5.83 USD/month
Monthly
7 days free
$12.99 USD/month
Read more about mental health coaching
Bouncing forward with resilience
How to build a firm sense of identity and why it matters
There will always be more: overcoming Scarcity Mindset
Wellness Wheel
Stay in the loop
Be the first to get updates on our latest content, special offers, and new features.
By signing up, you’re agreeing to receive marketing emails from Headspace. You can unsubscribe at any time. For more details, check out our Privacy Policy.
- © 2024 Headspace Inc.
- Terms & conditions
- Privacy policy
- Consumer Health Data
- Your privacy choices
- CA Privacy Notice