How this woman learned to hear what her boyfriend wasn’t saying.
Thanks for creating this service and app. Your dedication to helping people is very inspiring.
My question: is mindfulness going to help me be honest with myself about what I really want in life? I feel like I’m not truly following my heart a lot of the time and doing what is expected of me. I want to live honestly.
Thanks for reading.
Great to hear you’re enjoying the app and thanks for the kind words.
I love this question. The definition of living honestly can be defined in many ways, but to me it suggests a sense of freedom, a way of being, the willingness to put down the past, to let go of the future, to rest in uncertainty, to courageously meet each and every new moment as it unfolds before us, no matter how it appears; not projecting our own ideas, opinions and beliefs onto others, but meeting others as they are, allowing them to be who they are and not who we want them to be.
To live in this way is to not only discover honesty, but to discover peace of mind. The very act of meditation or mindfulness is honesty itself, seeing the mind exactly as it is, without judgement or criticism, not chasing one thing or resisting another. Instead, being at ease with whatever arises, learning to be more accepting, patient and kind as we practice. When we see our own mind with honesty, we see every mind, we understand how and why we do the things we do; there is no separation between self and other, only empathy.
Of course, it is not that we try and live deceitfully beforehand, it is simply that the mind is so busy, we are so caught up in our thoughts and our internal story, that we do not see clearly, we do not have the space to see the suffering of others and relate to that suffering. Neither do we see the habitual patterns of thought which cause us so much unhappiness and stress. This lack of clarity leads to confusion, which in turn prevents us from being entirely honest, whether it is with ourselves or those around us. So in this sense I would equate honesty with clarity and the ability to live with a greater sense of direction and purpose.