When Your Brain Won’t Stop Replaying the Same Thoughts

(air hissing) (mouse clicking) (upbeat music) Headspace Studios. (upbeat music continues) (gentle music) Hey friends, it's Rosie here. Welcome to "Radio Headspace." (gentle music continues) The other day, a friend was visiting from out of town. We were sitting on the couch catching up when one of those horrific news stories came on. Violence, tragedy, the kind that makes your chest tighten and your mind spiral. I turned to her visibly disturbed, and she said, "Just stay positive." I felt my whole body tighten, not because she didn't care, but because in that moment, it felt like my reaction, my very human reaction, was being shut down. (gentle music continues) So let's talk about something that might sound sweet on the surface, but can feel pretty sharp underneath, toxic positivity. You've probably heard the term, maybe you've even felt it without having a name for it. It's the pressure to stay positive no matter what. It's the kind of messages that sound good on a greeting card, like, "Everything happens for a reason," or, "Good vibes only," but hit differently when you're grieving or struggling or just trying to keep it together. Sometimes things are just bad, and by acknowledging that, we can start to actually deal with how that makes us feel. (suspenseful music) Years ago, I was grieving a major loss, one of those heartbreaks that makes time feel weird and your chest feel hollow. I had finally opened up to someone about it and their response, "Everything happens for a reason." And listen, I know they meant well, I really do. But in that moment, it felt like my pain had been completely dismissed, like I was doing something wrong for not feeling better. That's the thing about toxic positivity. It sounds like support, but it shuts down real emotion. It bypasses the discomfort instead of making space for it. And I'm not the only one who's been digging into this. My dear friend, Whitney Goodman, she's a licensed marriage and family therapist, literally wrote a book about this. It's called "Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy." In the book, she breaks down how we're taught to value cheerfulness over honesty. How phrases like, "Just be grateful," or, "Look on the bright side," are often used to shut down pain instead of hold space for it. (suspenseful music continues) Whitney explains that this pressure to always be positive isn't just annoying, it's harmful. It invalidates people's lived experiences, it reinforces shame, and it makes it harder to process things in a healthy way. And from someone who teaches mindfulness and has lived through real grief, there's a huge difference between optimism and avoidance. Optimism says, "This is hard, but I believe I can get through it." Toxic positivity says, "Don't be sad, it could be worse." Big difference. (gentle music) Here's a story that still makes me laugh, even though at the time it did not feel very funny. I was...