Two Small Habits That Strengthen Relationships

(mouse clicks) (gentle music) Headspace Studios. (gentle music) Greetings, greetings. Kessonga here. Welcome to Radio Headspace and to this Thursday. Today, I'm sharing two life-changing lessons that I've learned from interacting with the people closest to me, my family. These lessons can be used in your everyday life and are meant to strengthen your relationships, platonic, romantic, or otherwise. And if you happen to be a parent, feel free to use these tips with your own kiddos. I've been a parent for 17 years now and married for 22, so I know a little something about a little something. (Kessonga chuckles) (waves gently crashing) So the very first tip that I have for you is to validate. Validation can be a game changer in so many instances. I learned this from the many times my daughters came to me upset about something or when I had to mediate an argument they were having amongst themselves. Validation is simply the recognition or affirmation of a person or their feelings or their opinions. It's letting them know that they're worthwhile. There have been incidents where one of my daughters would come to me upset and frustrated at a certain situation and she thinks that she's completely right, when in fact she's actually wrong. This is where validation is so important. Because she's already charged up, if I was to just say, "Zuri, you're actually wrong in this situation, sweetheart," I don't think that will land effectively. And so let me just say that validation goes hand in hand with mindful communication, which just means being present and listening. And we all want to communicate effectively, right? So a more skillful approach with my charged-up daughter may be to first say, "Wow, Zuri, I see that you're really in a space of frustration and anger. Tell me more about what's going on with you." Or something to that effect, right? I'm validating her feelings immediately, and with just a bit of validation, she calms down some, and now she's in the space of hearing what I have to say. And so even if you don't have children or a spouse or romantic partner, this can be applied across the board with work colleagues, with friends, and for sure, with family. It's amazing the effect that initial validation can have. Oftentimes, the person that's upset will actually start to simmer down and start to feel just a little better. Another tip I've learned through parenting that extends into everyday real life is to look for opportunities to compliment. Daily compliments show people that you care, and they can make you feel good too. For example, my wife gets up before me because she's a morning person and I am not. (chuckles) So when I get up, she's fully dressed and everything and I make it a point to say something nice and loving to her. "That's a beautiful dress, babe." Or, "Wow, you really smell delicious." This not only sets her up in a good mood...