They’re Not Showing Up the Way I Want

(metal sweeping) (pen clicking) (gentle music) Headspace Studio. (solemn music) Hey there. Welcome to "Radio Headspace." It's Dora. So, I wanna tell you about this group project I had to do back in nursing school. Now, the whole point of these group assignments is to learn how to work in a team, which makes sense, right? Because as a nurse, you're constantly collaborating with other people. But here's the thing, I was really struggling with it. My team members weren't moving as fast as I thought they should. Deadlines would approach and I'd be waiting. Messages would sit unanswered. And I kept having this thought and repeat, "This is exactly why I work better alone." The frustration felt so physical, like this heat building in my body, this pressure. It would start in my head and just radiate all the way down to my feet. I was expecting everyone to show up the way I was showing up, focused, available, ready to work. What I completely forgot, these people had kids. They had families. They were working full-time jobs while going to school. They had responsibilities I knew nothing about. So, I started withdrawing from the group. I became less engaged. I stopped contributing as much. My whole behavior shifted, and I wasn't even aware that it was happening. Frustration teaches us something really important. It shows us the gap between what we expect and what's actually happening, between how we want things to be and how they actually are. The thing is, frustration can completely cloud our perspective, like putting on glasses that distort everything. We get so caught up in the feeling that we forget we have choices, that there might be another way to see what's happening. And this is where mindfulness and compassion become valuable. They help us to be with what's going on instead of constantly fighting against reality. And they allow us to meet frustration with kindness instead of just reacting to it. After that nursing school project ended, I had this moment of clarity. These people I'd been so frustrated with, they weren't bad people, but my mind had turned them into that. My frustration had created this story where they were lazy, uncommitted, like they didn't care about the work. And that's when I realized how much I was learning about myself through this experience. Not just about nursing or teamwork but about me, about my need for control, about my perfectionism, about how I to working with others. I remember this practice I'd learned from a teacher called the Just Like Me Reflection. And I wanna share it with you now, because it really did shift how I was holding this entire situation. So if you're willing, I invite you to give this a try. Think of someone who's frustrated you recently. Maybe it's someone at work. Maybe it's a family member. Someone who hasn't met your expectations in some way, Thought them in mind? Okay, now, I'm gonna guide you...