Talk It Out

(gentle music) ♪ Headspace Studios ♪ It's Tuesday y'all. I'm Kessonga and welcome to Radio Headspace. So as I stated yesterday, I'm using this week to dive into and discuss romantic relationships. Now, I'm not a relationship expert, or a sex therapist, I'm just a mindfulness of meditation teacher, who knows just a little something about being booed up with a romantic partner. And so I'm here to discuss Kessonga's relationship tips, and really these tips could work for all type of relationships, whether they're romantic or platonic. My relationship tip for today is to talk, talk, and talk some more. But not just mindless talking for the sake of talking. What I'm specifically referring to for this episode, is mindful communication, especially in the face of conflict. In my humble opinion, mindful communication is the basic foundation of any relationship. And we all have our own style of communication, which is perfectly okay, but when is it not okay? Case in point, I'm basically a quiet person, and in the face of conflict, I become even more quiet. This doesn't serve well for someone like my wife, who's a very vocal person. So when I would shut down, and she would get louder to get me to say something, which would make me shut down even further, than a vicious cycle would ensue. When we both learned about mindful communication, and actually put it into practice, it was a game changer. We were able to actively speak and listen to each other, and in turn, we both felt heard and understood. I'm going to share with y'all today a mindfulness communication exercise that I teach. It's not a one size fits all type of thing, but I truly believe it can be very helpful. The gentle invite here is for you to try it out with your romantic partner and see how it feels for y'all. And remembering, this can also be used in a platonic relationship, or with someone who is close to you. So before we get into the actual practice, here are a few short, but important words about mindful communication, and what to keep in mind as you try this exercise. Mindful communication is an extension of mindful listening. It involves a natural back and forth, all while being aware of the present moment. Mindful communication involves listening fully without judgment or getting distracted. And it also involves being aware of your own communication, both verbal and nonverbal, and the effect that this communication is having on the other person. It's also about being in tune with the subtleties of back and forth communication, and making the necessary adjustments, so we can stay in rapport with the other person. Now, this may sound like a lot to consider, but remember, it's called a practice for a reason. With time, and consistent practice, mindful communication will start to feel more natural. And so, just as a heads up before we begin practice, you need to allow...