Creating Healthy Connections

Social support is probably one of the strongest buffers against stress that we have. We know that social connection is key to health and wellbeing and sleep is no different. When people are trying to make sustained change it's really helpful to have a support system in place people that can root for you. Though we focus on sleep at the individual level sleep is clustered within couples, within families, within communities, so it creates this interconnection across a whole host of people. My husband can fall asleep anywhere standing up and it's really obnoxious. But my room is dark. Oh, there's a fan and that would probably be my husband's biggest gripe is that I have a fan that sounds like a 747. And with that interconnection requires clear communication for our needs and that is essential to be able to get the assistance and care and support that we crave to be able to improve our sleep effectively. I have received actually some pushback from my roommates. On occasion, I will say, "You know what y'alls I'm trying to hit the sack by 12," and they're like, "But that's so early." And they're still putting the laundry in and playing the guitar. Every individual has their sleep needs, right? But often there are other people involved and we need to be able to effectively communicate those so that we can get the help we need so that we can have the sleep environment that best suits us. And if we don't do that that can often lead to a lot of active thinking at night. When I wake up in the middle of the night and it comes to conversations, usually it's something where I'm like, I could have said that better or I made that person feel really bad and I shouldn't have done that. How do we talk to our partner? How do we talk to our friends, our roommates to be able to help get the sleep that we need? And that's why we're gonna walk you through this technique for building effective communication whether it's in life or for your sleep. (gentle music) Next, let's focus on ways to build support around you as you continue your sleep journey. Building communication skills. Stable, supportive relationships are an important part of being human. When we're going through something tough we depend on the people around us. We can build healthy social connections with good communication skills. (gentle music continues) Think of communication skills as poles holding up a tent. If they're solid and you know where they go you can build a safe, comfortable space. If they're wobbly and misplaced you'll have a doormat instead of a tent. (gentle music continues) With these skills, we find balance in the ways we communicate. The goal is to express our feelings and desires to someone else with respect and tactfulness. (gentle music continues) If we're too passive or too forceful it's harder to get our needs met....