Why We're So Afraid Of Endings

(mouse clicking) (mellow music) Headspace Studios. (mellow music) (peaceful music) Hello, welcome to yet again another Friday, and to Radio Headspace. I'm Dora. (peaceful music) So, the other day I was listening to the new Hung Up podcast by Headspace Studios, and it's a show that discusses heartbreak, breakups, and closure. Each episode, a person who is still hung up on a past relationship speaks with Shan Boodram, a sex and relationship expert, and Shan helps them look at the past as a way to move forward. As I was listening, I remembered something a friend had shared with me a few years ago. They said something along the lines of, "What if we entered every relationship "being aware that nothing lasts "and everything has an ending, "rather than thinking of relationships "as a happily ever after? "How would our mindsets about endings change then?" This podcast and that question made me think about how we so often fear endings, but forget that endings are happening all around. The day's passing, the seasons changing, flowers blooming and wilting. Endings are everywhere, and with endings arrive new beginnings. No new day is ever the same. No seasons are the same or flowers are the same. But as soon as we personalize this ending, as soon as it becomes our ending, that's when it seems like endings are nothing but pain and frustration. I love this zen story about endings and impermanence. So, one day a student went to his meditation teacher and exclaimed, "My meditation is horrible. "I feel so distracted. "My legs ache or I'm constantly falling asleep. "It's just horrible." "It will pass," the teacher said easily. A week later, the student came back to his teacher and said, "My meditation was wonderful. "I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive. "It's just wonderful." "It will pass," the teacher replied. The story teaches on the matter of factness of impermanence. Happiness, it will pass. Sadness, it will pass. A new beginning, it will pass. A painful ending, it will pass. And if we keep the transient, ever-changing nature of life and all its experiences at the top of our minds, endings no longer seem separate or a distant cousin of new beginnings. Now, this doesn't mean we only look out for those moments where things end, but we can move through life with the awareness and knowing that nothing lasts forever. And you know what? There's freedom in that. There's a sense of liberation that can arise when we recognize that as sad as we may feel about a chapter closing in our lives, a new chapter, a new story is on the horizon. Even now. Take a moment wherever you are just to reflect on an ending that may be present in your life at this moment. And with this loss, what is something you're gaining? And if there's nothing to gain, maybe we can open up to this idea of endings and impermanence by resting the focus...