When Your Parents Don't Support You

Headspace Studios. (gentle music) Hi there. Happy Monday, and welcome to Radio Headspace. It's Dora here. Today, I'll continue answering a few more questions I received from fellow community members. Today's question is, "Dear Dora, how do you deal with the realization that you'll never truly have your parents' support in life? How do you deal with the unfairness that you can't have something so basic and necessary?" Phew, first, I wanna be real, and say that it can feel horrible when we think we don't have the support from our parents. It can be difficult to navigate, because if we have friends that aren't supportive of our dreams, we can cut them off. But when it comes to family, family feels like forever. And I don't have all the context for this question, but not having your parents' support can mean anything, from your parents don't like where you decided to live to your parents fully rejecting who you are, because of a facet of your identity, like gender expression or sexual orientation. This can have huge ripple effects for the rest of someone's life. And if you need one on one care to cope with this tough situation, I recommend reaching out to a healthcare professional. We'll also have support links in the show notes. Drawing from my own experience, this question made me think about how I spent most of my teenage years trying to fulfill the unmet desires of my parents, like pursuing the path of education. And if I did do those things that they approved of, like getting two degrees, I didn't feel fulfilled. I finally came to understand that our parents really just want the best for us. Sometimes their idea of best or success is completely opposite of what we want for ourselves. As an adult, the fears that my parents had about me teaching meditation full time came from the belief that it wouldn't be lucrative, that I wouldn't be able to support myself. I shared this in another Radio Headspace episode, but when I first told my dad I would be leaving nursing, and teaching meditation full time, he asked if it was possible to get a PhD in meditation. And there wasn't any acknowledgement or support in this huge leap I had made, and that really upset me. Just the other day, he asked me what's next with my job. What's the next step I can take to further advance my career, and if I'm still thinking about doing my master's. The difference now is that my perspective and response has changed. I'm able to listen to what he has to say, and recognize that he's just looking out for me. And instead of feeling upset, there's a tenderness there, because this is his way of showing that he loves and cares for me. And I don't feel the need to respond or prove myself. I will say, though, I've been doing a ton of work to accept my...