When Anger Sneaks Up on You

(transition whooshing) (mouse clicking) (gentle music) Headspace Studios. (gentle music continues) (gentle music) Hey, friends, it's Rosie. Welcome back to "Radio Headspace." (gentle music continues) So the other afternoon, Torry and I went to get our little pick me up, our affectionate name for what is really just our shared caffeine addiction. You know that mid-afternoon lull where your brain starts yawning and your body's like, "Excuse me, we need fuel." Yeah, that moment. Being the planner that I am, I had already ordered our drinks on the app. All we had to do was pop in and grab them and go. Easy. Except it wasn't. Because Torry walked right up to the counter and confidently grabbed the wrong two drinks. And the moment I saw it, I snapped. Out Loud, no pause, no breath, just, "That's not ours!" with way too much heat for the situation. And as the words left my mouth, I looked over, and of course, one of my students was sitting in the cafe with a friend, watching, smiling politely. Probably thinking, "Wow, the meditation teacher really lost her zen over a latte. Not cool." (gentle music) In Buddhism, anger is described as the inner enemy, along with fear, jealousy, and resentment. These are the forces inside us that can cause just as much harm as the outer enemies in our lives. And anger, well, she's sneaky. She shows up wearing disguises, righteousness, urgency, I'm just being direct. But underneath, anger is really just fear in a hotter outfit. Fear of not being heard, fear of not being in control, fear of things falling apart if we don't manage them perfectly. And when we let anger drive, even over something as small as a mistaken coffee order, it can turn an ordinary moment into collateral damage. But by pausing long enough to notice what's underneath, we give that fear a softer landing and ourselves a way back to calm. (gentle music) Anger activates the amygdala, the part of the brain that processes threats. Once that switch flips, our prefrontal cortex, the rational part that says, "It's just coffee, girl. Calm down," goes offline. That's why anger feels so instant. It's not a thought out decision, it's a reflex. But here's the catch. Most of the time, the threat isn't real. It's not life or death. It's just annoyance dressed up as anger. And when we react without awareness, we don't just hurt others, we hurt ourselves. Studies have shown that chronic anger increases stress hormones, raising blood pressure, and even weakens the immune system. In other words, snapping at the barista or your partner isn't just unkind, it's literally bad for your health. (gentle music) That cafe moment reminded me of two things. One, anger is fast, but mindfulness is faster if I let it be. I could have paused for one breath before opening my mouth. That's all it would've taken to reset. And two, we're all human, even to teachers. That student didn't...