Turning Rejection into Resilience

(mouse clicking) (gentle music) Headspace Studio. (gentle music) Hi, everyone, it's Rosie. Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Friday. So as a mindfulness teacher, people often come to me for advice on how to work with difficult feelings, like rejection and disappointment. Maybe a job offer fell through, a romance ended, or you're just having a day when nothing is going well, and even I find those moments hard to deal with, especially recently when I received a disappointing email about my next book. With that in mind, let's talk today about disappointment, rejection, and what we can do to tap into resilience. So I was waiting for an email from my agent about my next book idea, and I had been working on it for a few months. All of a sudden, I see the notification come up on my computer. As I started to read this email, I was instantly just disappointed. My agent explained that the interest just wasn't there yet. It didn't mean that the book was necessarily off, but it just wasn't good news, and I felt completely heartbroken. I went straight into the whirlwind of, "I shouldn't even be an author." "I'm not good enough." "What's the point?" It took me straight into my inner critic takeover. I felt like I had worked really hard on this next proposal, and for it to just get shot down took me right back to a couple of years ago when I was shopping around my first book. I had 32 rejections from every major and minor publisher out there. I was told things like, "I wasn't relatable," "I wasn't noteworthy enough," "And growing up in East LA and making it out to become a meditation teacher wouldn't be a good enough story." After all those rejections, I felt like I needed to stop. I thought that quitting would probably be my best option. And I remember having this conversation with my dad about pulling the plug on this whole book process, and he said to me, "If it doesn't make your heart sing, don't do it." That really helped me center myself into what I was feeling, because I've always loved writing, regardless of anyone reading what I write. It makes my heart sing, and I knew in that moment, I was completely dedicated to achieving this goal, and then finally, at the beginning of 2020, I got a book deal. Having my last experience of getting rejected really helped me remember my own resilience in this moment, getting this email. I picked up my notebook and I just did what makes me happy: I just started writing, because no matter how disappointed I may feel or how many more rejections I may get in my lifetime, no one will stop me from doing what makes my heart sing. So often, we want to fast forward our experience, but it's our experience. We get to feel the most alive in the present moment. So one of...