Transform Anger by Changing Your Thoughts

(audio whooshes) (mouse clicks) (audio chiming) Headspace Studios. (gentle music) Hi, my name is Neca, and welcome to "Radio Headspace" and to Friday. I just wanna say that I've had so much fun this week, and if nothing else, I hope that you've learned a bit more about how anger works and what happens in your body when you experience that emotion. So today I wanna tell you about something very simple that can completely alter your perception of anger. Changing how you think. Now, I said it simple, I didn't say it was easy. But even though it's difficult, it can be incredibly beneficial for your life, work and relationships. So let's get into it. So changing your thoughts has everything to do with how you feel. Every emotion comes from a thought, right? How can we start identifying the thoughts that lead to anger and frustration? But the first thing I want you to do is just identify the situations, that's the first thing I need you to do. Think about the things that always, every time you think them, lead you to anger. And once you identify that situation, then what's the first thought, the automatic thought that comes when this situation happens? That is how you identify thoughts that lead to anger, frustration. For many years, I ran anger management groups. And so I had a woman in that group who had a teenage daughter. A preteen teenage daughter, I think she might have been 14 or something like that. And the daughter was just being 14. (laughs) You know what I'm saying, like, she was just being who she was. And the mom would just get really frustrated, and often she would come to the group and tell us stories about her daughter, and the things that her daughter happened to be doing were really just small things. It wasn't, you know, she wasn't staying out all night and partying. You know, she wasn't cleaning up, right? She wasn't putting up the dishes, which is frustrating but it is not the worst thing. And that is really how she changed that thought. You know, she realized that, "This isn't the worst thing my daughter could be doing. Yes, I'd love for her to clean up. However, she's actually a really good kid and she's done some great things, and she helps other people and I love her. And so while some of those things are annoying, I don't have to let it ruin my day." I remember her saying like, "Now our relationship has gotten a lot closer," right? Because it's like the frustration became a barrier between the two of them. And now removing that barrier, right, of these negative thoughts towards her daughter has now created more of a bond between them. So with changing your thoughts, I do have a few recommendations on how you can do that when you are facing a anger inducing situation. One of the first things I would say...