The Upside of Being Left Out

(air fizzing) (air clicking) (bells chiming) Headspace Studios. (calm cheerful music) (birds chirping) Hello, friends. It's Rosie. Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Thursday. Have you ever felt like you should have been invited to something but you weren't? I know I have. I mean, I've had plenty of late nights with friends, but now my priorities are different. I wake up early to meditate, write, teach, and much, much more. And even though I'm done at 6 p.m., that doesn't mean I wanna be excluded from gatherings at seven, eight, and, gasp, nine. I want people to want me at a party. Feeling left out is something most of us have experienced whether it's the cliques at school or in the company break room. So today let's talk about the emotions that come up when we feel left out and how we can be at peace even when we don't get an invite. The last time I felt left out, my friend was talking about a party that she was throwing. She was describing all of the different treats and the catering and all the fun decor that she was getting ready to put up in her house. And as she's telling me the story all I kept thinking was, "When was this party and why wasn't I invited?" And I actually asked her, "It sounds like a great party. "Where's my invite?" And she just laughed like it was a joke and said that the party didn't start 'til about 7:30 and she knew that obviously I wouldn't go because I go to bed by 8 p.m. So after the conversation, I just started to feel really sad, but given the fact that I really love my friend I decided to give her a call. And as I was telling her how hearing about this really fun party and having her say in a passive way that I wouldn't come so she didn't even bother to invite me really hurt my feelings. And right then she responded, "I feel really sad when you always tell me no." And we both had this moment of realizing that we hadn't communicated how we felt, and so we started to have this really great conversation where we started to feel more seen and we just found different ways and times to hang out with each other. (birds chirping) (calm music) With that in mind, my first tip for anyone that's ever felt left out or feels left out is to communicate. If you're in a situation where you feel comfortable talking to the person who didn't invite you, it may be a good idea to to communicate your feelings like I did, that way you can get clarity on what's actually going on with them instead of assuming that they don't wanna hang out with you. Another tip is to try and see things from the inviter's perspective. Ask yourself, "Would I really love to go to this thing, "or do I just wanna...