The Things We Say Without Thinking

(cursor clicks) (bright music) Headspace Studios. (gentle music) Hi there. Welcome to "Radio Headspace." It's Dora. I remember a few years ago, I came off a silent meditation retreat, and the first thing I noticed when I got back into the world into regular life was just how much we talk. Like constantly. In the coffee shop, people chatting. On the street, phone conversations. At home, the TV, podcast, music. Voices everywhere. And I wasn't judging it. I was just noticing. Because after days of silence, sound feels louder and words feel more precious. We say things without really thinking about whether they're helpful or true or kind. And most of the time, we don't even realize we're doing it. You know, there's this concept in mindfulness practice called right speech, and it's not necessarily about being perfectly polite or never saying anything difficult. It's really about being intentional with our words. But here's what's important. Right speech isn't just about what we say out loud to other people. It's also about what we say to ourselves in our own minds. Because communication, whether it's internal or external, highlights how we connect to ourselves and others. How often do you catch yourself saying things internally that you would never say to someone you care about? We can be so harsh with ourselves, and then we turn around and speak to others from that same place, maybe complaining, criticizing, or saying things we don't really mean. And here's the thing. We underestimate the impact of our words because we're speaking all the time. But words matter. They create our inner world and our outer relationships. They can build trust or break it. They can soothe or they can stink. Being mindful of how we communicate, again, both internally and externally, is one of the most practical ways that we can bring mindfulness into our everyday life. (gentle music) It brings me back to that same silent retreat that I was just speaking about. When you're on silent retreat, you're not speaking. No talking, no texting, no writing notes to each other. Just silence. And what I noticed pretty quickly was that silence on the outside doesn't mean silence on the inside. My mind was loud, so loud. There was this constant inner commentary running, and I started paying attention to it in a way I'd never done before. I'd be sitting in meditation and my mind would wander, and instead of just gently bringing it back, I'd think, "Ugh, you can't even focus for five minutes. Everyone else probably has their mind perfectly still, and you're over here thinking about your grocery list." Or I'd mess up during walking meditation, lose my balance, and immediately the voice would come. "You can't even do this right. You're terrible at this." I would never talk to someone else that way, but with myself, it was automatic and constant, and the silence gave me the space to actually hear it. (serene music) There was...