The Big D

(gentle music) Headspace Studios. In a short 28, 29 months, it went from, "I love you so much. "I'm gonna be with you for the rest of my life," to, "Hey, I'm gay." Today's episode, Brett. It's hard enough when a committed partnership ends, but when it ends in a way that you just never expected, it can make you question everything, which is something today's guest Brett is experiencing firsthand. He married a woman, who eventually left him for another woman. And yes, while discovering who you are is something that should be celebrated, the circumstances came at a cost to Brett, who felt like he genuinely lost himself in the toxic fallout of their relationship. So let's help him find a way back. ♪ All of those moments ♪ ♪ We tried ♪ ♪ All of those tears that I cried ♪ ♪ I will hold on no more ♪ ♪ I gotta let go ♪ ♪ And walk out that door ♪ What's going on? My name is Shan Boodram. I'm a sex educator and a relationship expert. From Headspace Studios and Frequency Machine, this is Hung Up. ♪ This is my time ♪ By now, you're probably hooked on Brett's story. So was I, as soon as I heard his voice message detailing his hang up. (answering machine beeping) Hey there, I've been navigating a devastating divorce. My now ex-wife abandoned me and our marriage to be with a woman. And I'm the one dealing with the fallout of her decision. I'm really angry. And I know I need to move past it, but I'm really struggling with how to do that. A lot was said in those few sentences, but also, there was a whole lot not said. So I gave Brett a call to start filling in the blanks. (phone ringing) Hey, Brett. What's up, Sham? Okay, let's start at the beginning. How did you and your ex meet? So (beeps) and I met in may of 2015 on Tinder actually. Our first date was five or six hours long. I left that date at midnight or 1:00 AM knowing that this was the one. I knew something was a bit different. In what way? We had so much in common. At the end of the day, it came down to morals and values, and we completely aligned from the start. And so, it was a very easy process to get to know each other. And we both come from a very conservative value system. Mm-hmm. Tell me more about that. Yeah, so she had a Mormon upbringing, I had a non-denominational Christian upbringing. We wanted to raise our kids in a household where we'd go to church on Sundays, have kids young, that kind of a household. Mm, yes, I get that. So when did you decide to get married? About two years, two and a half years later, we got engaged. Our relationship was perfect. We had zero issues. We traveled a ton....