Stop Feeling Guilty for Being Happy

(mouse clicking) (dramatic music) Headspace Studio. (gentle music) (birds chirping) Hi. Welcome to Radio Headspace. It's Dora. (gentle music) (birds chirping) Last week I had one of those unexpectedly perfect moments. I was sitting on my front steps with my morning coffee, the sun was hitting my face just right, and I felt this wave of contentment wash over me. Nothing big or glamorous had happened. I hadn't earned this moment or accomplished anything. It was just pure joy. And then, almost immediately my mind jumped in. "What are you doing just sitting here? We got work to do. There's laundry to fold, stop procrastinating and being lazy." I caught myself in that moment and thought, "Wait, why am I not allowed to just feel good?" Because that's what it felt like. Like I needed permission or I had to earn it. Almost like joy without struggle or hard work attached to it was somehow wrong. Now, growing up, I learned that struggle was the currency of worthiness, that if something felt too easy, too good, too joyful, I must be doing it wrong. I was raised in a family where hard work wasn't just valued, it was the only proof that you deserved what you had. Rest was suspicious. Contentment was dangerous. And joy, joy without struggling to earn it was almost selfish. But here's what I'm learning through my meditation practice. Joy doesn't need to be earned. Feeling good isn't a reward for suffering enough. It's our birthright. And for many of us, especially those of us from communities that had to fight for everything, giving ourselves permission to feel good without guilt is one of the most radical acts we can take. The message in my household was clear. Struggle equals character. Struggle equals stray. Struggle equals proving you deserve to be here. My grandmother worked three jobs just to keep her family afloat. My parents worked weekends, evenings, through sickness. I watched the adults in my life wear exhaustion like a badge of honor, and I internalized this deeply. In school, if I understood something quickly, I felt guilty like I was cheating somehow. In my career, I often found myself staying late, even when my work was done, because leaving on time felt like I wasn't trying hard enough. Even in my relationships, I found myself creating problems where there weren't any because things feeling easy made me suspicious, like the other shoe was about to drop. It wasn't until I started practicing mindfulness that I began to notice this pattern. I'd sit in meditation and feel a sense of peace, and then immediately my mind would start generating tomorrow's worries, next week's task, and ways to feel stressed again. It was one day during a therapy session where my therapist asked me, "What would happen if you let yourself enjoy this moment without thinking you need to earn it first?" And I realized I didn't know, I had never tried. So I started small. I gave myself...