Love Bombing

(gentle music) Headspace Studios. We get back together. (relaxing music) We break up. We find our way back together. We break up again and it's just this nonstop cycle and we have to make a decision, we're either going to really try a long term relationship or we just need to cut ties and go our separate ways and wish each other well. Today's episode, Amanda. (gentle music) Co-dependent relationships are a vicious cycle. One person needs the other, who in turn needs to be needed, but what really makes them so toxic is that they involve an unequal power dynamic because one person holds all the cards, and trust me, that is not a good thing. This is a dynamic that today's guest, Amanda, is very familiar with. She's in an endless heartbreaking rotation of breaking up and getting back together with her partner, Sol. But despite his infidelities and all the pain her relationship causes, she always takes him back and according to her best friend, Lydia, this has got to stop or Amanda will never find true love. So, let's help her. ♪ All of those moments we tried ♪ ♪ All of those tears that I cried ♪ ♪ I won't hold on no more ♪ ♪ I gotta let go and walk out that door ♪ What's going on? My name is Shan Boodram. I'm a sex educator and a relationship expert. From Headspace Studios and Frequency Machine, this is Hung Up. ♪ And this is my time ♪ The Hung Up team received a voice message from Amanda about her enmeshed and complicated relationship with her ex, Sol, here it is. (answering machine beep) Hi Shan, I can't seem to stay away from my ex, Sol. We met in Memphis's tight knit Latin dance community and we've been together on and off for a few years now. Every time that I think we break up, he kind of ropes me back in. I mean, we really love each other and he says he wants to be with me, but his actions don't really match up with his words. I don't know if I should move on, if I should stay in whatever this is, I have no idea what to do. Clearly Amanda is still in the thick of it so I jumped on a call with her to get more clarity on where she is at now and furthermore, where she wants to be. (quirky music) What's up, Amanda? Hi Shan, it's so nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. We got work to do. Are you ready? I was born ready. Yes you were. So with that in mind, tell me, are you hung up? Yes, I am very much hung up. Tell me a little bit about the connection, how you met. So I met Sol (upbeat music) approximately two months after I first moved to Memphis. One night I was at the one Latin dance club that we have in Memphis and I was dancing with...