Is That What They Meant?

(mouse clicks) (gentle music) Headspace Studio. Hey there, welcome to "Radio Headspace." It's Dora, and I'm so glad that you're here. I think one of the most interesting things that we can begin to notice through mindfulness is just how much the mind likes to narrate our interactions with other people. There's a voice that shows up in conversation. Sometimes while we're listening, sometimes while we're speaking, and often in that space in between. This voice comments on what's being said, what might be meant, and what could happen next. And sometimes we assume that that voice is telling the truth, but it's usually just telling a story. I noticed this most during conflict or even in the anticipation of it. When I know I have to have an uncomfortable conversation, I can feel my mind starting to prepare, planning my response, rehearsing what I'll say, and trying to get it just right. And I've come to recognize this part of my planner mind. It loves to plan everything: vacations, conversations, even imagine scenarios. And I noticed this really clearly when I first started setting boundaries at work. I remember needing to let someone know that I was at capacity. And even before I sent the message, my mind was already spinning. What are they going to say? Will they be disappointed? Am I letting them down? As I waited for their response, I think I must have gone through a hundred different scenarios and my body felt it, that sense of anxiety, that tightening, and anticipation. And this is something that many of us experience in communication. The mind doesn't like uncertainty. It will try to fill the gaps to predict, prepare, and protect. It's scanning for threats, trying to avoid rejection, or create a sense of comfort and certainty. But in doing so, it often creates stories that aren't actually true. And these stories can shape how we feel and how we show up. So in that moment waiting for that message back, my mind had already decided what was going to happen, that they'd be upset or I was disappointing them. But when the response actually came through, it was something completely different. They thanked me, appreciated my honesty, and even acknowledged that I was practicing what I teach. I remember feeling this immediate sense of relief. And I realized everything my mind had been telling me wasn't true. I had been projecting and creating a story based on fear and not reality. So much of communication isn't just about what's said. It's about what's heard, what's interpreted, and what's felt. And the mind plays a big role in that. So the next time you find yourself in a moment similar to mine waiting for a response or preparing for a conversation, you might just pause and notice the story your mind is telling. Maybe you can gently ask yourself, "Is this a fact or is this a story?" Sometimes it can be helpful to come back to...