How to Find Yourself Again After a Breakup

(mouse clicks) (bright shimmering music) Headspace Studios. (bright shimmering music) Hey there, welcome to "Radio Headspace", it's Dora. So, after a relationship ends, there's a specific kind of grief that doesn't get talked about enough. I remember after one breakup, sitting alone in my apartment, scrolling through old photos. And not because I missed him, though I did, but because I missed me, the version of myself in those photos who laughed with her whole body, who felt spontaneous, light and a little fearless. And in that moment, I realized the ache I was feeling wasn't only about losing someone I love, it was about losing sight of the version of myself I loved when I was with them. Our relationships don't just connect us to other people, they connect us to parts of ourselves, and when they end, it's not just the bond that breaks, it's the mirror. The one that reflected back a version of us we loved, or were just getting to know, and we grieve that too. The identity that was shaped, held and reflected in that relationship. But here's something I'm coming to understand. That version of you didn't disappear with the person. They're still within you, waiting to be remembered, reclaimed, or maybe reimagined. (bright subtle music) I remember a relationship that brought out a very playful, carefree side of me. We'd take long drives with the window down, make up songs in the car, laugh until our stomachs hurt. I felt spontaneous and light. Life wasn't so serious. When the relationship ended, I was heartbroken. But what lingered even more than missing him was missing her. That version of myself. The one that didn't overthink everything. The one who said yes to silly adventures. The one who felt free. And for a while, I thought she was gone, that maybe she only existed because of that relationship. But slowly, I started bringing her back. I'd drive with the windows down again, sing in the car, even when no one was there. Say yes to small adventures, just because they made me feel alive. And slowly but surely, I felt her coming back. I started giving myself permission to be light, playful, and free, and I realized, he didn't create that part of me, he just illuminated her, and I could do that too. (bright subtle music) So, if you're in that space missing someone, but also missing the version of you that lived and that love, here's what I invite you to remember. One, grieve with compassion. It's okay to feel ache, not just for the relationship, but for the self you experienced inside it. That version of you was real, worthy and beautiful. Number two is, that part of you isn't lost, it's just quiet. The parts of you that felt most alive, most curious, most lit up, they may have gone dim for a while, but they're still inside you. Healing isn't just letting go, it's also reaching in, and gently...