How Do You Talk To Yourself?

(graphic blips) Headspace Studios. (bright music) Hi, this is Dora and welcome to Radio Headspace. I'm so glad that you're here. So one thing that often becomes very noticeable when we sit down to meditate is the way we speak to ourselves. At first, many people come to meditation hoping to feel calmer, more settled, more at ease, and sometimes that happens. But often what we notice first is something else. It's the voice in the mind, the one that comments on what's happening, the one that evaluates, critiques, and at times, judges. And when that voice becomes easier to hear, it can be a little surprising. Many of us are used to directing kindness outward. We know how to encourage our friends, we know how to support someone when they're struggling. But when it comes to ourselves, that tone can be different. And sitting in meditation, we start to hear that tone more clearly. (serene music) (wind blows) I think many of us assume that meditation is about improving ourselves, fixing something, becoming more focused or more patient. And while those things can certainly grow from the practice, meditation often begins with something simpler. It begins with noticing how we relate to ourselves. When we start paying attention to the mind, we don't just see thoughts, we also start to hear the tone of the voice that responds to those thoughts. And sometimes that voice can be harsh. (serene music continues) (wind continues to blow) I remember a moment during a mentorship call that really brought this to life. I was meeting with one of the trainees over Zoom for a one-on-one check-in. She looked a little emotional and frustrated as we were talking about her meditation practice. After a pause, she said something that I think many of us can relate to. She said, "I'm realizing that I don't give myself a lot of room to make mistakes, not in life, and not in my meditation practice either." She explained that even if she made one mistake during meditation, if her mind wandered, if she lost focus, she immediately felt like she had failed. And sometimes that feeling made her want to give up entirely. As I listened to her, something about her words felt really familiar. I remembered a moment in my own practice when I came face to face with my inner critic. Up until that point, I had actually believed I didn't have one. (serene music continues) (birds chirp) But meditation has a way of gently revealing things we may not have fully noticed before. So when that voice appeared, I realized how quickly it was judging my experience, how quickly it would decide whether something was good enough or not. And during that call, I shared something with my trainee that helped her understand this part of the mind a little differently. I explained that the inner critic often comes from a place that's trying to protect us, but sometimes that protective voice can become overly strict, especially...