For the Caregivers with Shan Boodram
Author, sexologist, and mom Shan Boodram talks about how to stay afloat when you’re the one everybody relies on.
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Headspace Studios. (gentle music) Hello, world, it's Shan Boodram, your guest host for the week. Welcome to Radio Headspace, and to Thursday. If you don't know, I'm a certified sexologist, podcast host, and I'm a mama. Today's episode is for all the caregivers out there. As caregivers, we put others first, and that's a blessing, but we also need to make sure there's time for us. I'm gonna talk about how to make time for yourself when you're a caregiver, and how becoming a mom changed the way that I practiced self-care. I would define a caregiver as someone who takes care of another person, or people who need help taking care of themselves. I think caregivers struggle with self-care so much, because they define themselves on their ability to give to others. And that doesn't always leave room for giving to themselves, so they can often forget, or leave that part to the wayside. But I think that's why we have to remind ourselves that caring for ourselves is an integral part. As a matter of fact, it's the foundational part of being a good caregiver. And that goes back to that example that we all love. When we're on an airplane, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can tend to others. Because someone who is oxygen deprived has poor motor skills, is acting out of a place of panic. And as a result, might end up passing out, and not able to actually fulfill the duty that they want to. Pregnancy massively changed my view of self-care for the better. As a matter of fact, when I got pregnant, I was like, I was not doing this self-care thing at all. All of a sudden I started to treat myself, as if there was this precious life inside of me. I was mindful about what water, how much water I was drinking, the temperature of the water. I was mindful of the food, the environments. I just looked at myself like I have really got to make sure that I'm giving myself the best. And then I thought to myself, well, hang on a minute. Hasn't there been a precious life inside of you for your entire life? So why have you not engaged in this process in the very specific and strict way that you are now? So for me, pregnancy was the birth of my self-care routine. Before I gave birth, I had a lot of anxiety around being a caregiver for someone else, because it lends to the questions. Is there enough of me to give to someone else? And furthermore, do I have the strength, compassion, knowledge, and bandwidth to really provide for someone else the way that I know they deserve to be provided for? Really big and really scary questions. But the amazing thing about motherhood is it doesn't wait for you to answer. That baby is coming, whether you want them to or not, and...
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