Change Your Inner Voice, Change Your Life

(bright tones) Headspace Studio. Welcome to Radio Headspace. I'm Dora, and I'm so happy that you're here. Confession time. When I first started dating my now boyfriend, I used to obsess over every text I sent him. I'd type out a simple message like, 'Hey, how was your day?' but then immediately start second guessing it. Was that too casual? Not casual enough? Maybe I should add an emoji. Or was that trying too hard? I'd rewrite it three times, delete it twice, and then stare at my phone as if the perfect words would magically appear. Beneath all this mental back and forth was a familiar voice whispering "If this message isn't perfect, he'll lose interest." Or, "You're being too much, tone it down." It seemed harmless, almost funny at times, but it made me wonder, what if I just stopped editing myself so much? What if being myself was actually enough? We all have an inner voice. Sometimes it's our cheerleader, and sometimes it's overly cautious, maybe even a bit harsh. And we've grown so accustomed to this inner critic that we often mistake it for truth. Yes, that voice might mean well, but it's trying to keep us safe from embarrassment and from rejection. However, safety shouldn't mean shrinking. Mindfulness can help us notice these stories, investigate them, and create space for a kinder, more compassionate voice to come through. Early on in my relationship, mindfulness helped me notice just how often I was getting caught up in these anxious narratives. I remember one night in particular. We had an amazing date filled with laughter and great conversation, and afterward I wanted to text him something fun, something spontaneous. I typed out, 'Tonight was great. You're hilarious and I really enjoyed spending time with you.' Simple enough, right? But then came the second guessing. Suddenly my heart was racing. Was hilarious too much? Would he think I was trying too hard? I deleted the text, rewrote it as just, 'Thanks for tonight,' and stared at my phone. It felt flat, so I added an emoji, then deleted it again. Eventually after what felt like hours of debating with myself, I paused. I took a deep breath and asked myself, what's the story I'm telling myself right now? I realized I was caught up in the story of needing to be perfect, to be liked, of needing to just say the right thing. But the truth was he liked me because of who I was, not because of how perfectly I could craft a text message. With this gentle realization, I sent the original text, emojis and all. His reply was simple, sweet, and exactly right. 'I had a great time too, you're pretty hilarious yourself.' Mindfulness isn't about erasing the inner critic, it's about gently seeing it for what it is, a part of us trying to protect us, but not always in helpful ways. When I allowed myself the space, I realized something important. Being genuine...