Befriending Moments

(air whooshing) (computer mouse clicking) (gentle chiming music) Headspace Studios. (gentle serene music) Hi, it's Dora, and welcome back to the "Sunday Scaries." This is the second of four episodes in February where I'll be focusing on learning how to take it a little easier on ourselves. Last week, we discussed breaking emotional patterns, and this week, we'll be exploring how to befriend a moment. Now, there's a reason we chose this topic today. Are you familiar with cuffing season? If not, it refers to the common dating pattern where people couple up for the colder months. This season usually runs from late fall through Valentine's Day, and it's a topic very near and dear to my heart because I'm currently coming out of a breakup that lasted two years. Sundays can bring up a lot of dread for me as I look at my calendar and see all of the meetings and Zooms I have in the coming week. The only thing I truly wanna do right now is go on walks, listen to music, and cry when I feel like crying, so it can be daunting to think I have to be professional and compartmentalize my personal life from my job. Luckily, I've studied the power of vulnerability and know it's okay to say, "I'm not okay." And I can use the befriending technique we'll be discussing in today's episode to get through the week and feel less alone. It's helpful to know I'm going into this week with a friend, me, but it hasn't always been this way. Over time, I've learned how to be my own best friend. Now, we all experience breakups differently. For me, as I process it all, I'm feeling really tender and sensitive. Like, I was watching a movie last night, and I just started crying. This is all normal and natural, I know. I shouldn't judge it or try to fast forward these moments, and I know I need to allow them to happen. I also know that it's easier said than done. Knowing is half the battle. To feel, to feel deeply, is to allow ourself to wallow in the pits of whatever it is we're experiencing. And this takes courage, especially when we've been taught to not be so emotional, which means we don't have the chance to process our authentic feelings. Instead, we've all learned to distract, avoid, or repress when those big feelings arise. For me, I was taught to accommodate and prioritize the feelings of others, instead of honoring mine. And what's interesting about this misguided advice is that one of the best things we can do to make others feel comfortable is to be vulnerable in front of them. To be vulnerable with them. And that's because vulnerability breeds authentic true connection, something we all crave. Another common coping mechanism when going through a breakup is denial. In an effort to avoid really tender or sensitive moments, sometimes we try to convince ourselves it's not that...