Are You Drained From Caring Too Much? The Difference Between Empathy and Compassion

(bright music) Headspace Studios. Hey there. Welcome to Radio Headspace. It's Dora. So there was a time not long ago when I felt like I had nothing left to give. I wasn't necessarily in a crisis, I wasn't angry, I was just flat and dull. I was still showing up for people, texting back, listening to their stories, nodding along. But inside, I felt completely drained. And it didn't make sense. I cared deeply about the people in my life. I always wanna be there for them. So why did it feel so exhausting? It wasn't until I started reflecting on my mindfulness practice that I realized I was mixing up two very different things. Empathy and compassion. Empathy and compassion are often lumped together, but they're not the same. Empathy is when we feel with someone, we take on their emotions and almost absorb them as our own. Whereas compassion is the recognition of someone else's emotional pain, paired with a willingness to help, but without taking on their suffering as our own. And because compassion doesn't require us to feel the other person's pain, it's something that we can sustain. When we confuse the two, we risk running out of energy, not because we don't care, but because we've been carrying what was never ours to hold. This is not to say that one is right and one is wrong, but it is important that we're able to discern the difference between the two. And this reminds me of a time in my life when it felt like everyone in my life was going through something. A friend's relationship ended, a family member got a scary diagnosis. A colleague was dealing with burnout. And because I loved them, I went all in. I was feeling every wave of their emotions. Like I was riding three different storms at once. I couldn't sleep. My stomach was tight all the time. And in the middle of it, I realized I hadn't laughed, moved, or done anything for myself in days. One afternoon, I was in a session with my therapist telling her how worried I was about everyone. She paused and said, "You know, you don't have to suffer to care. You can hold them in love without holding their pain. You can care without caring." And in that moment, something changed. I realized I could still be present, still help, still wish them well, but I didn't need to step into their storm with them. I could stand there on the shore, steady, and throw them a rope. That's compassion. And it's a lot more sustainable. Sometimes we think that the depth of our care is measured by how much of someone else's pain we're willing to carry. But empathy, when it's constant and unfiltered, can leave us empty. Compassion is different. Compassion allows us to care without collapsing. It lets us show up for the long haul because it's rooted in stability and not an exhaustion. So here's...