Judging Others

As we watch another person, as we spend time with another person, are we seeing them as they are? Or are we judging them against the version of what we would like them to be? So this could just as easily apply to someone we recently met, it could be a personal friendship. It could be a relationship of some kind, perhaps a colleague of some kind. The temptation I think, is to, to see that person against an idea of what we would like them to be rather than simply allowing them to be who they are in that moment to express themselves as they are in that moment. There's part of us, that's almost like sort of there's a background commentary, editing that person perhaps the things that they say, the things that they do. It might be the way that they say them or the way that they do them. And in our mind, this commentary is essentially getting in the way of the relationship with that person. Not only is it disrupting it for ourselves but it's disrupting it for the other person. We're no longer giving that person permission to be who they are. We're wanting to change that person. So as much as possible in life, recognizing, realizing when that's happening, dropping that thought, dropping that editing, that judgmental narrative in the mind and just noticing what happens when we do that, how we experience that other person and how our own experience of that person changes in that moment. So just taking a moment to get comfortable, whether you're sat on a chair, on the floor, wherever you are you're going to begin with the eyes open, nice soft focus, and a big deep breath breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. And as you breathe out, just gently closing the eyes. Just feeling the weight of the body press down. Noticing the different points of contact. The arms, the hands, resting on the legs. Perhaps the legs and the feet resting on the floor. Just feeling the weight of the body. And at the same time, noticing the space around you noticing any sounds. Not getting lost in the sounds, but just noticing the sounds allowing the sounds to come and go. And then bringing the attention back to the body. Just starting to notice very subtle movement of breath. So a rising and falling sensation, noticing where in the body you feel that movement, just resting the attention there. And then just letting go, now focus. Just bringing the attention back once again, the feeling of contact and weight in the body, starting to notice the space around you again, any sounds, any smells. And then when you feel ready just gently opening the eyes again....