Uncertainty Around Fertility
It’s natural to want to know exactly what will happen, but that’s not always possible. Learn how Eve, Rosie, and Shula practice mindfulness to cope.
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Hi, it's Eve here. Welcome back to our conversation series on "All Things Fertility." So, something I've experienced a lot myself, and I know many others have as well, is the uncertainty and the anxiety that can come when you're on this fertility journey. So in our conversation today, we're really going to be talking about ways in which we can sit with and be with the uncertainty that is part of this rollercoaster journey of fertility. I am so honored to be joined by Rosie, my dear friend and fellow meditation teacher, and Sheila, who is one of our incredible mental health coaches. So nice to have you here as we talk about something that has come up for me a lot. So, how do we learn to sit with the uncertainty? I think not shaming yourself for having the uncertainty or wanting to know what's gonna happen. I think with anything, with the job, with, you know, relationship, with starting a family, nothing is certain. Nothing. I think the only thing that is certain is the impermanence that you talked about before, right? We're in a constant impermanent state and the only thing that's constant is change. So how can we then use that knowledge to our advantage? So for me, cultivating certainty when I feel uncertain is what do I know for certain? I know that I can breathe. (sighs) I know that for sure. And I also know that focusing on my breath will get me into a calm state. So that'll keep me from spinning out into this anxious place. I can always use the breath as my anchor, right? So for me, I think that in those moments, that's just where I go. Because, you know, in your mind you're building this picture and you're creating, and it's important to have goals. Like, when I say that, I always wanna let people know it's okay to have a desire. It's okay to have a goal. It's okay to have a picture in your mind of what that family's gonna look like. I think that's beautiful, because for a lot of people, that's what keeps them going, it gives them hope, it like creates that warm feeling. But I also feel like it can be extremely disheartening for some people that might be feeling more of the things that aren't happening. Like, it's hard for me to visualize that, so all I can visualize is how my life is not gonna have that family unit, right? So how do we break away from both ideas? How do we break away from both of those images, right? And we utilize the practice of mindfulness by very gently and lovingly letting go of those images and just staying present in the moment and going into the anchor of the breath. I love that. I mean, just because the process can be so complex, you know, and when I think about folks who are on this fertility journey,...
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About your teachers
- More about Andy
A former Buddhist monk, Andy has guided people in meditation and mindfulness for 20 years. In his mission to make these practices accessible to all, he co-created the Headspace app in 2010.
- More about Eve
Eve is a mindfulness teacher, overseeing Headspace’s meditation curriculum. She is passionate about sharing meditation to help others feel less stressed and experience more compassion in their lives.
- More about Dora
As a meditation teacher, Dora encourages others to live, breathe, and be with the fullness of their experiences. She loves meditation’s power to create community and bring clarity to people’s minds.
- More about Kessonga
Kessonga has been an acupuncturists, therapist, and meditation teacher, working to bring mindfulness to the diverse populations of the world.
- More about Rosie
Rosie Acosta has studied yoga and mindfulness for more than 20 years and taught for over a decade. Rosie’s mission is to help others overcome adversity and experience radical love.
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