Repairing a Rupture
Lost your cool? Yelled at your kid? We’ve all been there. The important part is how you handle the aftermath. Jon and Sam share their tips for how to repair the rupture and move forward.
Try 14 days freeBetter mental health starts with Headspace. Unrivaled expertise to make life feel a little easier, using guided meditations, mindfulness tips, focus tools, sleep support, and dedicated programs.
Try 14 days freeHello. It's Sam and John back for another audio lesson for you to bring into your parenting. This lesson deals with ways to repair your relationship with your child following a rupture. So a rupture could take on many forms. It could look like you losing your cool and yelling at your child. We've all been there. And here's the thing, your child wants to repair the relationship just as much as you do. Okay, so John, let's start by talking about what a rupture is and then what it looks like when it happens. Rupture could sound like a big, fancy word when we're thinking about something that's enormously common. A rupture is a moment of disconnect, a rip, a tear in the fiber of our parent-child relationship. Said you were gonna make time to help do this activity and you didn't show up. Your child committed to a curfew time and isn't responding to texts when they're late. It's a time where parent and child are not on the same page. There's a disagreement and there has been behavior that has broken the standard operating procedures of your family home. As you're talking, it's getting me thinking about how ruptures without repairs can last for decades. I mean, you can think about situations or patterns over time that have occurred in your own family or I certainly can think of many in my own family, and without the apology or without the resolution, it sits in us unresolved. So I'm wondering if we can maybe explore an example of a specific rupture, maybe from your life or my life, and then talk about what does repair look like in that situation. I'm happy to give an example of a rupture and a possible repair, but before I do, I just wanna take a moment to emphasize that rupture doesn't happen in a vacuum. When you've built special time and praise and noticing their strengths, our relationships are more resilient. And so ruptures of all shapes and sizes are more easily mended. So that one time that you yelled yesterday is not going to be the sole narrative of your child's understanding of you three decades later. And still, if we aren't able to find new patterns to repair ruptures, it might have outcomes in how your child sees the world and how they feel about themselves. Let's look through an example. You know, it was trash day. Your nine year old, that's their one chore. You said, "Hey, go out and do it." You moved your attention to other things, as a parent, we're very busy, only to notice the garbage truck zooming by without your bin because your nine year old got distracted by something outside. What happened? How come we didn't take this out? Maybe the frustration got the better of us. And so it might've led to our child storming off and us standing there feeling disappointment in our behavior, feeling shame about this is...
Details
About your teachers
- More about Andy
A former Buddhist monk, Andy has guided people in meditation and mindfulness for 20 years. In his mission to make these practices accessible to all, he co-created the Headspace app in 2010.
- More about Eve
Eve is a mindfulness teacher, overseeing Headspace’s meditation curriculum. She is passionate about sharing meditation to help others feel less stressed and experience more compassion in their lives.
- More about Dora
As a meditation teacher, Dora encourages others to live, breathe, and be with the fullness of their experiences. She loves meditation’s power to create community and bring clarity to people’s minds.
- More about Kessonga
Kessonga has been an acupuncturists, therapist, and meditation teacher, working to bring mindfulness to the diverse populations of the world.
- More about Rosie
Rosie Acosta has studied yoga and mindfulness for more than 20 years and taught for over a decade. Rosie’s mission is to help others overcome adversity and experience radical love.
Your lifelong guide to better mental health
Stress, sleep, and all the challenging emotions — care for your mind with the everyday mental health app that's shown to make a difference.
Try 14 days freeLook after your mind
Proven guided meditations and programs to help you stress less, sleep more soundly, and better navigate life’s challenges
Science-backed
Studies show that using Headspace for 30 days can reduce stress, increase resilience, and improve overall well-being
Explore 1000+ expert-led exercises
Access our library of meditations, breathing exercises, and guidance videos for stress, sleep, focus, everyday anxiety , parenting, and more.
Member reviews
Hear from some of our members
Your app brings so much peace and tolerance to our home.
Rachel
UK
Changing my thoughts has allowed me to change my life.
Davide
London
The stress and loneliness courses … taught me how to comfort myself.
Alicia
Canada
Headspace provides me with … a connection to myself, and a disconnection from negative thoughts, feelings, and sensations.
Keri
UK
Related to 'Repairing A'
- © 2024 Headspace Inc.
- Terms & conditions
- Privacy policy
- Consumer Health Data
- Your privacy choices
- CA Privacy Notice