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AdviceHonoring Your Kid's Point of View

Honoring Your Kid's Point of View

As a parent, it’s challenging to hear a point of view from your child that you totally disagree with, and still honor it. Kessonga explains how, in these moments, we can tap into our mindful listening skills and non-judgment to build trust and open communication with our kids, even when we’re not aligned.

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As parents, we tend to believe that we know what's best for our children. And sure, oftentimes we definitely do. After all, we're older and have had a good amount of life experience already. We've made all the mistakes and learned from them, hopefully. (chuckles) And the last thing we want is for our children to endure the headache, heartache, and stress of, well, living life. But that's just it, right? It's life. Stress is inevitable. Our children will have to experience it on all levels. It's what makes us human and helps us to grow. One of the hardest things to do is to hear a point of view from your child that you totally disagree with and still honor it. Basically, giving your child their own agency. Now, of course, there are some things that just aren't going to be tolerated. Breaking laws or activities that put them or others in harm's way, for example. So not the obvious things. But I'm referring to those moments where you would go about doing things completely different from what your child is proposing. You may believe that your way is simpler, smarter, or just downright better. (scoffs) It's in these moments where pausing and really listening to, and perhaps honoring your child's point of view can make a huge difference. Displaying mindful listening skills and non-judgmental behavior to your child sets a good example for them to follow. And also, if their way happens to not work out, then they know they can always come to you for support and that shoulder to lean on. And this really starts from when they're small. Letting them choose the path to the playground, even if it's the long way around. They want to eat dessert first? Okay, as long as they also finish their veggies afterwards. Our meditation practice helps us to recognize the emotions that we are feeling in each moment and to not just react to them. So that when we are feeling out of control when our children suggest a different way, we're able to pause and really notice what's the appropriate action in that moment. So with that being said, let's drop into practice right now. If it's comfortable for you, taking a gentle, deep breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth. And with that out breath, allowing your attention and your presence to gently drop into this moment. And adopting a comfortable and dignified posture of awareness. Feet flat on the floor or crossed on your cushion. Hands resting on your knees or wherever is most comfortable for you. The posture is comfortably tall. Allowing the eyes to be closed, if it's comfortable for you. Or perhaps you can have them in a soft, open gaze, looking slightly downward, but not really focusing on anything in particular. And now, just allowing the attention to shift to the natural rhythm of the breath. Noticing each inhalation and each exhalation. And if the breath doesn't feel...


Duration7 min

About your teachers

  • A former Buddhist monk, Andy has guided people in meditation and mindfulness for 20 years. In his mission to make these practices accessible to all, he co-created the Headspace app in 2010.

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  • Eve is a mindfulness teacher, overseeing Headspace’s meditation curriculum. She is passionate about sharing meditation to help others feel less stressed and experience more compassion in their lives.

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  • As a meditation teacher, Dora encourages others to live, breathe, and be with the fullness of their experiences. She loves meditation’s power to create community and bring clarity to people’s minds.

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  • Kessonga has been an acupuncturists, therapist, and meditation teacher, working to bring mindfulness to the diverse populations of the world.

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  • Rosie Acosta has studied yoga and mindfulness for more than 20 years and taught for over a decade. Rosie’s mission is to help others overcome adversity and experience radical love.

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