Ask a Therapist - Protecting Your Energy

(soft music) Today we're gonna be answering a question from Dylan on work stress and mental health. "I often find it difficult "to avoid taking on the stress and emotions of my coworkers. "They're stressed about deadlines and projects "and countless other things, "and I tend to mirror their stress or match their emotions, "even when I don't need to. "How can I stay calm and at ease in these situations? "Any help would be appreciated. Thank you." Well, Dylan, thank you so much for the bravery it takes to send in a question. And I'm hopeful that I can provide a little bit of guidance. Being in a stressful workplace is really difficult. When you are in community with people who are also experiencing that stress, it's also really hard to not take on the negative emotions that others are feeling. I don't think we often realize how much groupthink and behaviors impact us. So whether you are intentionally doing it or not, because we are a community of human beings, we take on the emotions, feelings, and behaviors of other people. I would just start by being open to giving yourself some compassion because you are all having the same experience. But I also commend you for being the one who wants to change the environment of the workplace. And that starts with changing how you are experiencing the workplace. There's a few ways that you could do that, right? Because it's hard. Like work sucks, and everybody is feeling it, and they're all talking to you about it. So setting boundaries with the people that you work with is probably a great place to start. So trying to figure out what those boundaries are that need to be set. So it might be giving yourself time where you're open to having conversations with people about what's going on with work, and then setting aside time where it's just you, you know, your focus time. And be consistent with it. Remember, setting boundaries is not about like making rules for the other person. It's about making rules for yourself. Okay? So if you are not following those rules, it's not on them who gonna keep coming to talk to you, 'cause that's what they're gonna do. But if you don't set the boundary and say, "I told y'all yesterday, "during 2:00 to 3:00 p.m, I'm working," then they're gonna keep telling you, they're gonna keep coming to you. Also, being mindful about your own energy. So set boundaries around how you have conversations with them. Just because someone comes to me to have a conversation with negative energy, I don't have to return that. I can choose to say, "You know what? "I'm gonna have some gratitude today "because it was really nice outside. "My coffee was extra hot. "The person at Starbies was really nice to me." They'll probably stop talking to you, actually. So you decide, but you do not have to return that energy. But...