Struggling with "Flow" in Focus

As an idea, meditation is incredibly simple, but in practice it can be rather more challenging. Obstacles are common and it’s important that we feel comfortable and confident with that, knowing that others are experiencing just the same thing. So, if you have a question or a reflection about the exercise itself or any element of practice, this is the place to go.

Struggling with "Flow" in Focus

by Konopia » Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:55 pm

Hi there

Focus is my first pack after the Foundation course and I've been really struggling these past few days. I just did day 16 (20 minute sessions) and have been putting off posting on here because I thought I'd just magically figure it out myself - well, that didn't happen!

My problems have to do with visualization and the flow bit. I can quite easily focus on each part of my body that Andy guides us through but when it gets to doing it quicker (or smoother) that's when I just keep falling out of it. I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that I get very strong sensations when I focus on a given body part and also my imagination is very active but extremely specific. I can kind of visualise the ball of light between my ankles but when I move to my navel area then my brain doesn't really know what to do - do I visualise the ball inside my body? Or just touching the skin? When I visualise it from a perspective it is easy but then I very easily get "mechanical" and just move through the points with my imagination from a perspective instead of "feeling" them too.

It gets worse when it comes to the steady flow of focus from one point to another - I feel like my imagination is hindering me. Instead of it flowing up and down through my body my brain imagines the ball of sunshine jumping outside of my body and jumping back inside in another place. I tried doing it without the visualisation today, just by feeling it the different points, but it still isn't a steady flow. Is it supposed to be "liquid"? Because my focus doesn't flow through one point to another, I always have to stop in a place before moving to the next one. If I try to speed it up I end up going through the points with my imagination only, "mechanically" and my feeling falls behind.

In this last part I also feel that I cannot disconnect this flow from my breath - I always move on from one place to another on an in breath or out breath. So when it gets to the "flow" bit I just end up breathing faster to match it. Is that what should be happening?

Should I give up the visualisation part of the exercise? I know Andy says that you can choose which one you prefer but he also said that doing both is great because visualisation softens the mind (and by doing both I'm probably trying too hard to be good at this :P)

I am so confused, if anyone has any insight please do share it!

Thanks
 
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