Strengthen Relationships by Setting Healthy Boundaries

(air hissing) (mouse clicking) (gentle music) Headspace Studios. (gentle music continues) (gentle music) Hey, my name is Dora. Welcome to "Radio Headspace" and to Friday. So I wanna preface this episode by stating that I love my mother. And hi, Mom, you're probably listening to this as well. I love you. There's nothing better than a mother's love. I think we can all agree. But sometimes their idea of love can be quite different from ours. For instance, a few months ago I was asked to quarantine and monitor my symptoms at home due to being exposed to someone that had tested positive for Covid. And I had this gut feeling not to tell my mom that I had been feeling a little bit under the weather because I instinctively knew what her reaction would be, to overreact. And she did. She lives one and a half hours away from me and ended up showing up at my front door without warning, wanting to see me and take my temperature. But of course, for her, this overreaction signified love and care. But for me, it felt like she was undermining my personal space by not telling me that she was coming over. (gentle music continues) Boundaries aren't common sense. I would never just show up at someone's house, it feels inappropriate. But my mom didn't see it In that way, she felt like she was caring for her daughter. It comes down to communication and what may be a mildly awkward conversation to help set those boundaries. Boundaries are set to protect us. If they're set in a way that's compassionate, boundaries can empower both parties. After that incident with my mom, I was sharing with my therapist and we were talking about what had happened and ways that I can set boundaries with her. And my therapist shared this great analogy with me. She said, "Boundaries are like seat belts. They protect us and the people that we're in the car with. Most importantly, they help us not to be driven crazy." And this struck a chord with me. For one, we can't force anyone else to wear their seat belts. That decision is truly up to them. Secondly, the seat belt analogy is similar to when we get on a plane and we're told to put on our oxygen mask first before helping others. Boundaries act as a shield of protection, but also a way to practice self-care. This is what was running through my mind when my mom came over unannounced. She has pre-existing medical conditions that make her vulnerable to Covid, and I didn't want her to be exposed. I felt she needed to put her mask on first, then check on my seatbelt. So I have an invitation for you today. One, if you're struggling to set boundaries, remember to put on your oxygen mask first. Recall a time that you lacked boundaries with someone. Remind yourself of what was said and how it made...